July 2, 2023

I am the one who feels fragmented. Body in separate pieces, mind running in different directions. I am one who feels everything is disconnected, flat and dark. Underneath I feel anger, confusion and helplessness and don’t even know why. I keep looking outside for something that doesn’t seem to be there. Instead I can feel the part of me that self-harms through sabotage and self hate wanting so badly to rage on myself. I can feel the urge is there like an addict who needs a fix.

I want you to remind me that this is what it is to be human. I can still love all of me rather than turn my helpless rage against myself.

My gift to you is to tell you, you’re OK. Co-existing with turmoil is part of it. Now go have some fun. It’s OK.