May 27 2023
I am the one who needs to hide from attention.
I am the one who feels too exposed when eyes are on me.
I feel overwhelming self-consciousness that can easily turn to shame.
I’m not sure why but need it to stop, to push it away, to disappear into a cocoon that creates a barrier.
This sense of overwhelm is too much for my highly sensitive system.
Anger creeps in as I feel like I need to fight back, yet at first glimpse of my own rage, I am the one who needs to stuff it right back down and freeze this emotion too since I’m a “good girl”.
May 20 2023
I am the one who soars with love when connected to my true self.
May 19 2023
I am the one who cries out for help.
I am the one who cries an ocean worth of salty tears.
I am the one who is drowning and wants to disappear to make the grief go away.
I am the baby who still wants more.
May 13, 2023
I am the one whose rage is frozen in ice. I am the one who wants to explode and doesn’t know what to do with this energy. It’s helpless, stuck, hot and frozen. Even my words right now are tongue-tied. This is how I feel inside right now.
YOU are one who doesn’t give a shit about how your actions affect anyone else. You’re so inside yourself it’s like a FUCK YOU to the rest of the world—it’s everyone else’s problem.
In your sickness, this is who you are. In your soul, I know there’s love and compassion.
This is the bind that fuels my helpless rage.
May 4, 2023
I am the one who is trying to crack open the rage within me to help it find its way out of my body.
The fire within me is intense, it’s hot, it hurts me and it’s still protected by the one who would rather fake a smile at my expense to spare another’s pain or rejection.
Sometimes it feels like my head will explode from not expressing myself fully.
The part of me that is all love minimizes the true resentment and says, “it’s not that bad”. This part also soothes me even when I’m too scared to speak up and if/when I get the courage to say, “no thanks.” instead.
“NO” is a full sentence. When no’s happen, the yes’s inside my soul settle and shine.
I want you to know that little by little the stored rage will soften as you set boundaries that align with your truth. You’ll no longer hide behind a fake smile.